Absolutely UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!
I can't wait... And neither can the kids as I have found a *few* gifts half unwrapped already!!! Oh well, what is the fun in already having gifts under the tree if they can't have a few shakes right????
Monday, December 14, 2009
Seriously.....
I can't wait... And neither can the kids as I have found a *few* gifts half unwrapped already!!! Oh well, what is the fun in already having gifts under the tree if they can't have a few shakes right????
In my lap...
I have no clue how to fix either of these two things... I am taking to twitter so I can ask Lion Brand at least how to fix the rolled edges... I think I am just going to drop a couple stitches here and there to get back on track.. Only 10 or so more rows and I will have my 1st of the 5 panels complete!!!!! YAY for me!!!
**If it looks good enough I will add it if not I may rip apart and start from scratch... UGH!!!!**
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Seriously getting stuff done...
After the last blog post I actually got up off my hind end and got some work done around the house... I guess actually forming thoughts into words and putting them out into the world made me feel totally and completely worthless. Guess it worked... So, I have decided the best way to get things done is A.) Write it down and B.) Get dressed. It seems if I get dressed first thing in the morning I am more productive throughout the day, rather than staying in my jammies or something similar.
All of my Christmas shopping is done as well... I mean I am a completely different person than in the past, I am usually the mom who is at the Wal-Marts Christmas Eve morning getting gifts and wrapping them Christmas Eve night... At least now I can enjoy that night without worrying if I have everything ready for the next morning... SO, yay me!! I feel so much better this year.
So unfortunately I am more than likely going to use this blog as a way to keep on myself to get things done. Use it as a responsibility check list for me. Since there are no other adults around it is hard to stay motivated. The kids rarely, if ever, notice that I didn't fold laundry or make my bed or clean the kitchen... This makes it hard for me to stay motivated to do those types of things. At least I know there are a few other people who read this and hopefully it will keep me feeling just enough guilty that I stay on top of my duties as a house-mommy!! :)
All of my Christmas shopping is done as well... I mean I am a completely different person than in the past, I am usually the mom who is at the Wal-Marts Christmas Eve morning getting gifts and wrapping them Christmas Eve night... At least now I can enjoy that night without worrying if I have everything ready for the next morning... SO, yay me!! I feel so much better this year.
So unfortunately I am more than likely going to use this blog as a way to keep on myself to get things done. Use it as a responsibility check list for me. Since there are no other adults around it is hard to stay motivated. The kids rarely, if ever, notice that I didn't fold laundry or make my bed or clean the kitchen... This makes it hard for me to stay motivated to do those types of things. At least I know there are a few other people who read this and hopefully it will keep me feeling just enough guilty that I stay on top of my duties as a house-mommy!! :)
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Cast on... Cabled Knit Throw
If you didn't know "casting on" is the first row of a new knitting project. I will start a new blog post like this every time I start a new project.... This is going to be a way for me to keep up with my progress and outline my difficulties and successes... YAY!!
Casted on to Cabled Knit Throw @ 6:00pm 12/11/09...
Hopefully this will take less than a week but so far I have only finished 3 sets of the first of 7 sets in 5 panels of this throw and I spent at least 2 hours last night on it! The throw is my first big project so I am sure there will be lots of ups and downs on this project. I have already had to rip out over 5 rows of stitches - ARGH!!!!!!!! These types of projects take lots of focus on counting and very little focus on actually thinking. Which is good seeing as thinking usually gets me in a super funky mood. Anyway, I am using Lion Brand Wool-Ease Thick & Quick in Fig and it should take around 9 skeins of yarn... Here is a little linky love for the patternfrom Lion Brand. Let's see how this thing looks when I get it done... Here we go...
Casted on to Cabled Knit Throw @ 6:00pm 12/11/09...
Hopefully this will take less than a week but so far I have only finished 3 sets of the first of 7 sets in 5 panels of this throw and I spent at least 2 hours last night on it! The throw is my first big project so I am sure there will be lots of ups and downs on this project. I have already had to rip out over 5 rows of stitches - ARGH!!!!!!!! These types of projects take lots of focus on counting and very little focus on actually thinking. Which is good seeing as thinking usually gets me in a super funky mood. Anyway, I am using Lion Brand Wool-Ease Thick & Quick in Fig and it should take around 9 skeins of yarn... Here is a little linky love for the patternfrom Lion Brand. Let's see how this thing looks when I get it done... Here we go...
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
bloggity, bloggity
If I would spend as much time updating this blog as I do reading other people's blogs it would be insane. I seriously spend around 3-4 hours a day just clicking away and trying to get inspired to be more creative.
You see, I have a huge issue. I feel like now that I am staying home I am not as productive as I am when I work. I also feel like since Shane passed, things that used to be important, like the floor being swept, vaccum being ran, etc., just don't seem so important anymore. So, laziness takes over and I am left feeling like I just do not contribute AT ALL. My house stays in a semi-shambles state. I cook, only sometimes... I clean, only sometimes... Heck sometimes I don't take a shower for days. I just cannot get out of this funk. It sometimes feels like I am living in this huge surreal dream... Days and days pass that I just sit, sit and do nothing... I MEAN DAYS... I do not "feel" depressed, I just feel useless and so out of control that it seems I just *almost* don't care anymore. I do what I can to get by. This makes me feel so unproductive. HENCE, I have decided to pick up a hobby.
That hobby is KNITTING. I loved to cross stitch as a little girl, I made enough friendship bracelets to circle the Earth 2 or 3 times, my maternal grandmother taught me how to crochet (kind of) and my paternal grandmother used to quilt and make her clothes. Those are the kinds of things I am interested in. I can use my hands and my brain, whilst I just sit, and at the end of the day I have something to SHOW for it. Instead of the big bucket of nothingness I feel like I have been ending up with every day so far. I made myself a super chunky cowl last week and have had great compliments on it.. I am now making my middle son a thinner cowl that wraps a couple times and will be putting his initials in felt on it later tomorrow.
I just want to contribute to this world in one way or another. I am not ready to volunteer just yet as I can't seem not to cry every time I see someone hurting in a way that reminds me of my hurts.... And I can only play with my children so much everyday. I just feel like I am losing myself and hoping with all my heart I can find myself again. And if this helps so be it.
You see, I have a huge issue. I feel like now that I am staying home I am not as productive as I am when I work. I also feel like since Shane passed, things that used to be important, like the floor being swept, vaccum being ran, etc., just don't seem so important anymore. So, laziness takes over and I am left feeling like I just do not contribute AT ALL. My house stays in a semi-shambles state. I cook, only sometimes... I clean, only sometimes... Heck sometimes I don't take a shower for days. I just cannot get out of this funk. It sometimes feels like I am living in this huge surreal dream... Days and days pass that I just sit, sit and do nothing... I MEAN DAYS... I do not "feel" depressed, I just feel useless and so out of control that it seems I just *almost* don't care anymore. I do what I can to get by. This makes me feel so unproductive. HENCE, I have decided to pick up a hobby.
That hobby is KNITTING. I loved to cross stitch as a little girl, I made enough friendship bracelets to circle the Earth 2 or 3 times, my maternal grandmother taught me how to crochet (kind of) and my paternal grandmother used to quilt and make her clothes. Those are the kinds of things I am interested in. I can use my hands and my brain, whilst I just sit, and at the end of the day I have something to SHOW for it. Instead of the big bucket of nothingness I feel like I have been ending up with every day so far. I made myself a super chunky cowl last week and have had great compliments on it.. I am now making my middle son a thinner cowl that wraps a couple times and will be putting his initials in felt on it later tomorrow.
I just want to contribute to this world in one way or another. I am not ready to volunteer just yet as I can't seem not to cry every time I see someone hurting in a way that reminds me of my hurts.... And I can only play with my children so much everyday. I just feel like I am losing myself and hoping with all my heart I can find myself again. And if this helps so be it.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Dinner with Friends.
Two of my very best friends (inherited best friends) birthday's are today!! So, last night I hosted a super Taco Night Tuesday to celebrate their birthday's. There were 6 adults, 1 teenager and 6 toddlers/preschoolers at my place last night and it couldn't have been more fun if you would have thrown a barrel of aardvarks in the mix... I made cupcakes (chocolate and yellow) and a huge pot of taco meat with all the fixin's... It was delicious!! Almost everyone, including the kiddos, had seconds. And for me, that is a huge success.. If you can get kids - especially preschoolers - to eat seconds it is a phenomenal success in my books.
Needless to say, I love being back in St. Louis. We are finally getting settled in and getting used to life off of the range, and it couldn't be going any better. I love that our friends are close and that we can do nights like last night. I love that my kids have other kids that they can grow up with whose dad's are (were) best friends with their late father. I am so blessed to have adult men in this world that will help me to raise these boys, who so desperately need a good example of what a father and man is supposed to be like. And who better than men that were hand picked by my husband, to help me raise them if they can't have their biological father on this Earth. We really are so blessed and I am so thankful to all of these men for stepping up and making a positive thing out of something so horrible for these kids... I love them all so much!!!
Needless to say, I love being back in St. Louis. We are finally getting settled in and getting used to life off of the range, and it couldn't be going any better. I love that our friends are close and that we can do nights like last night. I love that my kids have other kids that they can grow up with whose dad's are (were) best friends with their late father. I am so blessed to have adult men in this world that will help me to raise these boys, who so desperately need a good example of what a father and man is supposed to be like. And who better than men that were hand picked by my husband, to help me raise them if they can't have their biological father on this Earth. We really are so blessed and I am so thankful to all of these men for stepping up and making a positive thing out of something so horrible for these kids... I love them all so much!!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Still here...
...why yes I am!! I know some of you are stopping by to see how we are and if I am OK? Well the fact of the matter is that we are doing fine, and yes I am OK, I am still alive right. I will post more on the pressing issue of my husband passing away at some other time, when I feel like I can handle writing about it. Now is still not the time for me emotionally based on below facts:
1. Halloween was super hard.
2. Wedding Anniversary was hard.
3. Thanksgiving was hard.
4. Christmas is going to be very hard.
5. Shane's 33rd birthday he isn't going to see is going to be hard.
With that said, I am doing the best I know how to keep functioning... Using my sometimes insane sense of humor to be the best mom I know how to be for my children... And missing him like hell everyday. The old saying, "One day at a time" is very applicable right now. Thank you everyone so much for the prayers and continued well wishes and positive thoughts and energy sent our way. It has really helped just knowing everyone is out there thinking of us and praying for us. Love you all!!!
1. Halloween was super hard.
2. Wedding Anniversary was hard.
3. Thanksgiving was hard.
4. Christmas is going to be very hard.
5. Shane's 33rd birthday he isn't going to see is going to be hard.
With that said, I am doing the best I know how to keep functioning... Using my sometimes insane sense of humor to be the best mom I know how to be for my children... And missing him like hell everyday. The old saying, "One day at a time" is very applicable right now. Thank you everyone so much for the prayers and continued well wishes and positive thoughts and energy sent our way. It has really helped just knowing everyone is out there thinking of us and praying for us. Love you all!!!
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